A MYRIAD OF ORANGES, blues, pinks and purples paint themselves on the clouds in the early morning sky. The rolling bustles hold my stare like a moth to a lamp as I run alongside my muscle toned, red-haired best friend, Casey. Freckles frame his smile as he and I laugh down the vacant neighborhood street toward the incline in the road.
“You can’t give up here, Judd!” he presses.
It irks me anytime he says that. “I don’t plan on it, dude!”
Across our vision glides brown hair, feathered wings and sharp talons, the rest of the figure is that of a girl. She lands at the top of the hill as I slow down midway.
Casey looks back at me wiping the sweat off my forehead. “Bro, what’d I just say?”
“Whatever, dude! Vanessa flew up the thing!” I complain as the morning sun beats down on me.
What I wouldn’t give to be able to fly.
Vanessa’s wings become her arms, the talons her legs, then she ties her hair back into a rubber band from her pocket. “I’m not a part of your pointless games,” she says.
“Hey, it’s good exercise.” Casey insists, wiping sparkling sweat off his own head with his already damp, white shirt. He nearly hits himself in the face with his Celtic cross necklace. “How is it that you transform with clothes on, by the way? Don’t most Fragments who are shifters have to strip first?”
Vanessa looks at him through narrow eyes as he reaches the top. “Casey, that’s a weird question and I’m not answering it.” She shakes her head and as I finally make it to the top, she has the nerve to say, “Slow poke.”
A tinge of annoyance furrows my brow, but I ignore her snarky comment as my hands fall to my knees. I look up after catching my breath to see the park standing before us. Behind it, the sun is peeking over the skyline of Comet Cove; the city I call home.
Only Fragments can live here in Comet Cove. Fragments are those in the world with powers. Our Aura is what grants us said powers. It’s an intangible organ-like energy within us that grows alongside the others. My problem arises if everyone finds out that I’m not exactly like other Fragments around me. I could lose my home.
Even with pessimistic thoughts periodically passing through my mind, especially with class starting soon, I can’t help but to smile whenever I stare up at this horizon.
The crisp holds a scent from the damp grass that is so calming as I ask, “Is Gareth here, too?”
I don’t realize I’m speaking while still carrying this silly smile on my face until Vanessa says, “Is that what that corny grin is all about? You’ve been dreaming about my brother again, haven’t you?”
The instant flash of heat that fills my face leaves a pain on the bridge of my nose as my gaze darts to her. “What? No!”
“I told you when you confided in me about not having powers, I’d help Casey help you out. When you told me it’s because of you being into guys, I wanted even more to help you,” she starts as her own face goes red, her eyes welling up in anger, “but like I said then, my brother is totally off limits, dude!”
“I was just wondering if this was going to be a two-on-two ball game or nah! Maybe not so loud with that information, Vanessa!”
“I can get even louder, Samael!” Her eyes become a glowing lavender as my full first name slithers out of her mouth.
“Guys!” Casey pushes between us as I realize Vanessa and I have gotten pretty close to each other’s faces. “No powers, you know it’s an unfair advantage. No fighting at all, in fact.”
“You don’t have to worry, Nessy,” I express with seriousness, “I’d forgotten I was gay until you had to bring it up.” Sarcasm entangles my words in an attempt at her conscious.
“Oh, yeah? Did you also forget that it’s the reason you’re a Blank?” Oh wait, Vanessa doesn’t have much of a conscience.
My name is Sam Judd and I’m a Blank. It’s exactly what a Fragment without powers is called. It’s not exactly derogatory, but it stings no less to hear it out loud, and she knows that. It is, however, rather frowned upon within Fragment communities to be such a thing. To be a Blank, one must conceal a part of themselves so deeply that they don’t even want to acknowledge it themselves.
The worst part of not having powers is knowing the reason why they’re being held from me. And if not for Casey and Vanessa, the fact that I like guys would be made public knowledge. On the one hand, I can keep lying and hiding behind the only two people who know. On the other, I can tell the world I’m gay, potentially receive my powers. That’d allow me to stay in Comet Cove and my beloved school of Aries High, but very possibly lose everything else around me in the process.
A cool upward gust of wind surrounding the three of us pulls me out of the deep thought Vanessa triggered. I pull the hood of my gray sleeveless shirt tightly over my head so that my favorite black beanie doesn’t escape my head. Vanessa screams about her hair, forgetting that she’s wearing a gray hoodie. Casey holds his Celtic cross necklace down from hitting him in the face again. The ambush surprises all of us, but we all know who it is.
“It took ya’.” My brother, Dré stops in front of us, adjusting his ball-cap and bright pink hoodie. I swiftly put my middle finger in his face. “What’cha gonna do? You haven’t trained your mimicry all summer. Slackin’, li’l bruh.”
Oh yeah, and that’s the lie that covers up my lack of powers. “Trained mimicry.” A quick idea that I came up with in a bind where I had to use my powers shortly after starting at Aries High. The actual plan came afterwards though, but it bought me three days of “training” with Casey and it’s worked ever since. When the time would come, Casey was nearby using his powers as I made the gestures. All we did was grow a big sunflower with his control over plants. It was so simple and there’s really no way for them to be able to tell otherwise. We really did practice it a lot. Thankfully, it’s not often necessary.
Casey nods in agreement with my brother as I show my other finger to him. “I only have so many middle fingers, y’all!”
“Yo, Sam, Ginger,” Dré claps, “Are you ready yet?” His posture slouches to match his impatience as his tone becomes very serious. “G’s ova there waitin’ at the courts for a ball game. Yo, school starts in less than a week, you need to start gettin’ ready for them tryout dates if you wanna be on the team, li’l Judd, we ain’t guaranteed spots this year.” I know he’s more worried about himself.
But a confident grin stretches across my face anyway. “Yeah, I’m ready.”
“I’ll be your cheerleader, Drake-y!” Vanessa latches onto Dré’s arm, who seizes it back.
“Stop, girl! Do not call me Drake! Or Drake-y for that matter.” Most of his seriousness dissipates back into his usual half-joking tone, disgust peeking through the undertone. “I don’t need a cheerleader if it’s you.”
Dré stumbles away from Vanessa unsuccessfully at first, but wriggles out of her grasp once again. He speeds ahead to the courts, only for her to grow feathers again and chase after him swooning. I find it rather funny that she can chase after my brother who doesn’t want her, but I can’t even dream about hers.
* * *
The ball games continue as the hot sun hangs at its highest point in the sky. Everyone else goes off to do whatever else they plan to do. I insist on making the short walk down the hill and up the road back home alone. I can’t get the fact that school is only a few days away out of my head. I’m excited to go back, but I’m also terrified. It’s like a roller-coaster that I really don’t like.
My anxiety drudges on as I lay my head on my pillow in the darkness of my room staring at nothing in particular. My surroundings become gradually darker until I realize that this can’t be my room anymore. I sit up and my gaze moves to the black floor reflecting my hazel eyes back at me when I’m suddenly encircled in a white light.
Is this a spotlight?
I look up to not even see a light source. Just endless black above and to each side of me.
My voice! I realize, holding my neck. It’s not coming out of my mouth and my thoughts are everywhere! How embarrassing…
“Sam…” A disembodied voice slithers past me with my name on the tip of its tongue.
“Who is that?” I turn quickly. “Who’s there?” And the other direction.
“Sam.” A clearer voice repeats as if lunging in my face this time.
I fall back, crab crawling backward as panic ensues. It feels like a busy subway station is surrounding either side of me. An invisible crowd of passersby seem to pound my name down at me, echoing it as I cover my head to protect myself from what feels like an attack.
Oh God, I hope that isn’t what this is. A Fragment attack on my mind or my Aura could lead to disastrous results for me. Why would I be made a target? What if they’re trying to get dirt?! This could ruin everything! My chest tenses up with the intensity of all the feelings surrounding me. Oh, no. I can’t breathe!
The world of darkness spins out of control around me. The miasma that overcomes me makes it only possible for me to focus on a single word:
Breathe!
Air rushes back to my lungs in an instant as repeating the word seems to gain it strength, returning me to my equilibrium. A soft woodsy scent enters my nostrils as I find myself on the rugged floor of a cabin. I look around only to find a few old yet comfortable looking rocking chairs and a roaring fireplace. Beyond the chairs, though, a red door. Freedom.
I just know it.
I reach for the golden doorknob but the obstacle of a blond guy in a cowboy hat steps between me and my perceived way out of whatever this is.
“Didn’t you hear us calling you, Sam?” The cowboy smiles warmly.
I recognize him but it still puts me at unease. “Jake? Are you doing this?” I find myself back on the floor and see that he has no clothes on at all. “What’s going on here?” I do realize my voice is back, a small upside.
“It’s just us, Judd.” A similar looking blond comes into view from the shadows I didn’t see lurking in the corner before.
I recognize both guys from school. The one without the hat is James, Jake’s much posher twin brother. And both are naked! My face flushes as I keep my eye contact shakily from their necks up.
“Is this something you two can do?” I chuckle nervously. “This is really weird, guys. I gotta go.”
“You can’t go, Sam!” A tall muscular brunette comes into view as James did before. “We just got here.”
Oh great, here I go dreaming of Vanessa’s brother! “Wait, why does your hair have blue tips?” What an odd addition.
Gareth lets out his own chuckle. “It’s your favorite color, isn’t it?”
Weird.
“None of these things matter, Judd.” A raven-haired boy in a black and white ski hat appears sitting before the other three. “All that matters is what you’re going to do next.”
“I’m going for that door and I’m going home, Taven!” I state in an exasperated tone.
The door stands rather unblocked by the lewd scene against the logged wall before me as my gaze shifts between them.
Another, more awkward raven-haired boy presents himself sitting across from his brother and says, “It’s just a dream, Sam. So just get it over with.”
“Thanks Kaven, the dream possibility honestly isn’t much better than the others lately! Dream or not, I need to get out of here!” And that door is my way to do it.
These are all guys from school I’ve had rather… coarse thoughts about in the past. They’re not particularly blocking my escape, though. I leap toward victory—an easy task since the door is only inches away—when suddenly a bigger, pale hand engulfs mine as I latch onto the doorknob.
“Sam! wait!” calls out a voice I recognize that makes my heart thud on the floor.
Looking up to meet the source, his face is empty. A black swirling pit replaces what should be his eyes, nose and mouth, the only features I recognize of his head being his ears and sand-colored hair. While I’ve hardcore crushed on the other five, the feeling this guy gives me is different. A hypnotizing deep voice is coming from the pit, but I can’t make out the words. Definitely not his natural voice. The now familiar pain in my chest is accompanied by a feeling of fear that I know even better. Except it’s grown into full blown terror, but I can’t look away.
My eyes jet open and I’m lying completely unable to move in what I know for sure is my bed. My MSI poster is above my headboard, Sum41 hanging on my door, my surroundings are definitely my room. I’m definitely awake now, but there’s a shadow of a man without a face saying incomprehensible words standing above my body. Tears stream down my cheek as the fear is too much for me to bear. I can finally pull myself up from what felt like the heaviest chains. Air rushes back into my lungs and the man has vanished completely.
“What the hell?” I fall back into my pillow covering my still crying eyes with my hands.
A pain sits in the center of my chest, a side effect of my panic. This is what I’ve dealt with nearly every day ever since I didn’t get my powers. Dreams I can’t even remember by the time I wake up, except for the shadow that sometimes hovers over me when I wake up. The pain and the terror. It’s gotten a lot worse lately.
I throw my hands down to my sides in surrender, but the pain is subsiding anyway. My phone glows from my nightstand as my palms hit my bed. I grab it seeing that it’s on ‘do not disturb’, so it must have caught a glimpse of my movement. It’s just past 4:30 a.m., just like the first time. Just like every time.
I unlock my phone and open it to FragSpace—one of many social media sites accessible only with Fragment web-proxies—and scroll down swiftly. I slow when I come across a post from the page, Trulove of Memes. It’s a video only under a minute.
I press play and instantly recognize Jake in his cowboy hat smiling back at me and yelling, “Hey,” he says with a wave, “The Trulove brothers want to express how excited they are for school on Wednesday in their own way!”
The view rushes past Casey’s orange hair as he waves at the camera and it zooms into the roof of a pretty big garage. On top of that roof, Taven in his ski hat.
“Kaven, hurry up and get up here!” Taven calls.
Kaven rushes to the top of the roof on a slope of ice jettisoning from his hands to join his brother and commands, “Ready, set, go!”
Taven throws his arms back and an explosion of fire erupts from his hands propelling the brothers up one side of the roof and flying off the other side. The sled is caught by a quick growing tree, courtesy of Casey no doubt.
Up until now I’ve watched in complete contempt, but a half-hearted smile stretches across my face. “That’s for real what they went off and did?” I ask aloud. “Those idiots, Taven’s already in a wheelchair, what more do they want?!” I roll over to my one side, honestly quite aggravated.
Still staring at my phone, though, my next impulse is to send a text to Taven.
TO TAVEN: You okay after that little stunt I just watched? Lol
With it being so early in the morning, I don’t expect a response. I resort to other random internet videos. I’m not getting any more sleep after that episode, so I might as well be the first one awake.
II. (Chapter Preview Blog Series) >>
Thank you for reading,
~ J. D. 💙🖤
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